The Countess de Rochambeau christened the St. Louis harbor-boat ‘Mark Twain’ in honor of Mr. Clemens, June 6, 1902. Just before the luncheon he acted as pilot.
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Princeton
Mr. Clemens spent several days in May, 1901, in Princeton, New Jersey, as the guest of Lawrence Hutton. He gave a reading one evening before a large audience composed of university students and professors.
Missouri University Speech
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS DELIVERED JUNE 4, 1902, AT COLUMBIA, MO.
When the name of Samuel L. Clemens was called the humorist stepped forward, put his hand to his hair, and apparently hesitated. There was a dead silence for a moment. Suddenly the entire audience rose and stood in silence. Someone began to spell out [...]
Fulton Day, Jamestown
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS DELIVERED SEPTEMBER 23, 1907
Lieutenant-Governor Ellyson, of Virginia, in introducing Mr. Clemens, said:
“The people have come here to bring a tribute of affectionate recollection for the man who has contributed so much to the progress of the world and the happiness of mankind.”
As Mr. Clemens came down to the platform the [...]
Russian Sufferers
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
On December 18, 1905, an entertainment was given at the Casino for the benefit of the Russian sufferers. After the performance Mr. Clemens spoke.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,—It seems a sort of cruelty to inflict upon an audience like this our rude English tongue, after we have heard that divine speech flowing in [...]
Billiards
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
Mr. Clemens attended a billiard tourney on the evening of April 24, 1906, and was called on to tell a story.
The game of billiards has destroyed my naturally sweet disposition. Once, when I was an underpaid reporter in Virginia City, whenever I wished to play billiards I went out to look [...]
Water-Supply
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
Mr. Clemens visited Albany on February 21 and 28, 1901. The privileges of the floor were granted and he was asked to make a short address to the Senate.
MR. PRESIDENT AND GENTLEMEN,—I do not know how to thank you sufficiently for this high honor which you are conferring upon me. I [...]
Osteopathy
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
On February 27, 1901, Mr. Clemens appeared before the Assembly Committee in Albany, New York, in favor of the Seymour bill legalizing the practice of osteopathy.
MR. CHAIRMAN AND GENTLEMEN,—Dr. Van Fleet is the gentleman who gave me the character. I have heard my character discussed a thousand times before you were [...]
Accident Insurance—Etc.
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
DELIVERED IN HARTFORD, AT A DINNER TO CORNELIUS WALFORD, OF LONDON
GENTLEMAN,—I am glad, indeed, to assist in welcoming the distinguished guest of this occasion to a city whose fame as an insurance centre has extended to all lands, and given us the name of being a quadruple band of brothers [...]
Books and Burglars
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS TO THE REDDING, CONNECTICUT LIBRARY ASSOCIATION, OCTOBER 28, 1908
Suppose this library had been in operation a few weeks ago, and the burglars who happened along and broke into my house—taking a lot of things they didn’t need, and for that matter which I didn’t need—had first made entry into this [...]
Rogers and Railroads
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
AT A BANQUET GIVEN MR. H. H. ROGERS BY THE BUSINESSMEN OF NORFOLK, VA., CELEBRATING THE OPENING OF THE VIRGINIAN RAILWAY, APRIL, 3, 1909
Toastmaster:
“I have often thought that when the time comes, which must come to all of us, when we reach that Great Way in the Great Beyond, and the [...]
Dinner for Hamilton W. Mabie
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS DELIVERED APRIL 29, 1901
In introducing Mr. Clemens, Doctor Van Dyke said:
“The longer the speaking goes on tonight the more I wonder how I got this job, and the only explanation I can give for it is that it is the same kind of compensation for the number of articles I [...]
Pudd’nhead Wilson Dramatized
When Mr. Clemens arrived from Europe in 1895 one of the first things he did was to see the dramatization of Pudd’nhead Wilson. The audience becoming aware of the fact that Mr. Clemens was in the house called upon him for a speech.
A New German Word
To aid a local charity Mr. Clemens appeared before a fashionable audience in Vienna, March 10, 1899, reading his sketch “The Lucerne Girl,” and describing how he had been interviewed and ridiculed.
German for the Hungarians
Address at the Jubilee Celebration of the Emancipation of the Hungarian Press, March 26, 1899
Advice to Girls
June 10, 1909 – Mr. Clemens met a young girl on the steamer Minnehaha in 1907; she called him “grandpa,” and he called her his granddaughter. She was attending St. Timothy’s School, at Catonsville, Maryland, and Mr. Clemens promised her to see her graduate. He accordingly made the journey from New York on June 10, 1909, and delivered a short address.
Remembering Mark Twain’s First Appearance
October 5, 1906 – Mr. Clemens, following a musical recital by his daughter in Norfolk, Connecticut, addressed her audience on the subject of stage-fright. He thanked the people for making things as easy as possible for his daughter’s American debut as a contralto, and then told of his first experience before the public.
Business Speech at Eastman College
March 30, 1901 – Source of the well-known quote “Honesty is the best policy—when there is money in it.”
Die Schrecken Der Deutschen Sprache — The Horrors of the German Language
November 21, 1897 – A Humorous Address to the Vienna Press Club–Delivered in German (Here in Literal Translation). “It has me deeply touched, my gentlemen, here so hospitably received to be. From colleagues out of my own profession, in this from my own home…”
“On the Babies”
November 1879 – At the Banquet, In Chicago, Given by the Army of the Tennessee to Their First Commander, General U.S. Grant.
