Address at a dinner in his honor at the Lotos Club, November 10th, 1900.
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On Poetry, Veracity, and Suicide
Address at a dinner of the Manhattan Dickens Fellowship, New York City, February 7, 1906.
Carnegie the Benefactor
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
At the dinner given in honor of Andrew Carnegie by the Lotos Club, March 17, 1909, Mr. Clemens appeared in a white suit from head to feet. He wore a white double-breasted coat, white trousers, and white shoes. The only relief was a big black cigar, which he confidentially informed [...]
Dr. Mark Twain, Farmeopath
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS AT THE ANNUAL DINNER OF THE NEW YORK POST-GRADUATE MEDICAL SCHOOL AND HOSPITAL, JANUARY 21, 1909
The president, Dr. George N. Miller, in introducing Mr. Clemens, referred to his late experience with burglars.
GENTLEMEN AND DOCTORS,—I am glad to be among my own kind to-night. I was once a sharpshooter, but now [...]
In Aid of the Blind
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS AT A PUBLIC MEETING OF THE NEW YORK ASSOCIATION FOR PROMOTING THE INTERESTS OF THE BLIND AT THE WALDORF ASTORIA, MARCH 29, 1906
If you detect any awkwardness in my movements and infelicities in my conduct I will offer the explanation that I never presided at a meeting of any kind [...]
Lotos Club Dinner in Honor of Mark Twain
Address given to the Lotos Club at the first formal dinner in their new clubhouse, November 11, 1893.
Robert Fulton Fund
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS MADE ON THE EVENING OF APRIL 19, 1906
Mr. Clemens had been asked to address the association by Gen. Frederick D. Grant, president. He was offered a fee of $1,000, but refused it, saying:
“I shall be glad to do it, but I must stipulate that you keep the $1,000, and add [...]
Watterson and Twain as Rebels
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS AT THE CELEBRATION OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S 92ND BIRTHDAY ANNIVERSARY, CARNEGIE HALL, FEBRUARY 11, 1901, TO RAISE FUNDS FOR THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL UNIVERSITY AT CUMBERLAND GAP, TENN.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,—The remainder of my duties as presiding chairman here this evening are but two—only two. One of them is easy, and the other [...]
Russian Republic
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
The American auxiliary movement to aid the cause of freedom in Russia was launched on the evening of April 11, 1906, at the Club A house, 3 Fifth Avenue, with Mr. Clemens and Maxim Gorky as the principal spokesmen. Mr. Clemens made an introductory address, presenting Mr. Gorky.
If we can [...]
Charity and Actors
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS AT THE ACTORS’ FUND FAIR IN THE METROPOLITAN OPERA HOUSE, NEW YORK, MAY 6, 1907
Mr. Clemens, in his white suit, formally declared the fair open. Mr. Daniel Frohman, in introducing Mr. Clemens, said:
“We intend to make this a banner week in the history of the Fund, which takes an [...]
San Francisco Earthquake
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
After the address at the Robert Fulton Fund meeting, June 19, 1906, Mr. Clemens talked to the assembled reporters about the San Francisco earthquake.
I haven’t been there since 1868, and that great city of San Francisco has grown up since my day. When I was there she had one hundred and [...]
Galveston Orphan Bazaar
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS AT A FAIR HELD AT THE WALDORF-ASTORIA, NEW YORK, IN OCTOBER, 1900, IN AID OF THE ORPHANS AT GALVESTON.
I expected that the Governor of Texas would occupy this place first and would speak to you, and in the course of his remarks would drop a text for me to talk [...]
Cats and Candy
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
The following address was delivered at a social meeting of literary men in New York in 1874:
When I was fourteen I was living with my parents, who were very poor—and correspondently honest. We had a youth living with us by the name of Jim Wolfe. He was an excellent fellow, seventeen [...]
Queen Victoria
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS TO THE BRITISH SCHOOLS AND UNIVERSITIES CLUB, AT DELMONICO’S, MONDAY, MAY 25, IN HONOR OF QUEEN VICTORIA’S BIRTHDAY
Mr. Clemens told the story of his duel with a rival editor: how he practised firing at a barn door and failed to hit it, but a friend of his took off the [...]
Booksellers
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
Address at banquet on Wednesday evening, May 20, 1908, of the American Booksellers’ Association, which included most of the leading booksellers of America, held at the rooms of the Aldine Association, New York.
This annual gathering of booksellers from all over America comes together ostensibly to eat and drink, but really to [...]
Spelling and Pictures
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS AT THE ANNUAL DINNER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS, AT THEWALDORF-ASTORIA, SEPTEMBER 18, 1906
I am here to make an appeal to the nations in behalf of the simplified spelling. I have come here because they cannot all be reached except through you. There are only two forces that can carry light [...]
The Alphabet and Simplified Spelling
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS AT THE DINNER GIVEN TO MR. CARNEGIE AT THE DEDICATION OF THE NEW YORK ENGINEERS’ CLUB, DECEMBER 9, 1907
Mr. Clemens was introduced by the president of the club, who, quoting from the Mark Twain autobiography, recalled the day when the distinguished writer came to New York with $3 in small [...]
The New York Press Club Dinner
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
AT THE ANNUAL DINNER, NOVEMBER 13, 1900
Col. William L. Brown, the former editor of the Daily News, as president of the club, introduced Mr. Clemens as the principal ornament of American literature.
I must say that I have already begun to regret that I left my gun at home. I’ve said so [...]
The Disappearance of Literature
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS AT THE DINNER OF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY CLUB, AT SHERRY’S, NEW YORK, NOVEMBER 20, 1900
Mr. Clemens spoke to the toast “The Disappearance of Literature.” Doctor Gould presided, and in introducing Mr. Clemens said that he (the speaker), when in Germany, had to do a lot of apologizing for a certain [...]
The Old-Fashioned Printer
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS AT THE TYPOTHETAE DINNER GIVEN AT DELMONICO’S, JANUARY 18, 1886, COMMEMORATING THE BIRTHDAY OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
Mr. Clemens responded to the toast “The Compositor.”
The chairman’s historical reminiscences of Gutenberg have caused me to fall into reminiscences, for I myself am something of an antiquity. All things change in the procession of [...]
Dinner for Whitelaw Reid
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
ADDRESS AT THE DINNER IN HONOR OF AMBASSADOR REID, GIVEN BY THE PILGRIMS’ CLUB OF NEW YORK ON FEBRUARY 19, 1908
I am very proud to respond to this toast, as it recalls the proudest day of my life. The delightful hospitality shown me at the time of my visit to Oxford [...]
Dinner for Mr. Jerome
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
A dinner to express their confidence in the integrity and good judgment of District-Attorney Jerome was given at Delmonico’s by over three hundred of his admirers on the evening of May 7, 1909.
Indeed, that is very sudden. I was not informed that the verdict was going to depend upon my judgment, [...]
A Dinner to Honor Mr. Choate
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
AT A DINNER GIVEN IN HONOR OF AMBASSADOR JOSEPH H. CHOATE AT THE LOTOS CLUB, NOVEMBER 24, 1902
The speakers, among others, were: Senator Depew, William Henry White, Speaker Thomas Reed, and Mr. Choate. Mr. Clemens spoke, in part, as follows:
The greatness of this country rests on two anecdotes. The first one [...]
Courage
A Speech by Samuel Clemens
At a beefsteak dinner, given by artists, caricaturists, and humorists of New York City, April 18, 1908, Mr. Clemens, Mr. H. H. Rogers, and Mr. Patrick McCarren were the guests of honor. Each wore a white apron, and each made a short speech.
In the matter of courage we all have [...]
Education and Citizenship
A Speech by Samuel Clemens. On the evening of May 14, 1908, the alumni of the College of the City of New York celebrated the opening of the new college buildings at a banquet in the Waldorf Astoria. Mr. Clemens followed Mayor McClellan.
