“We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that a savage has, because we know how it is made…” [...]
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The Benefits of Travel
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts…” [...]
French Idiots
“In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.”
Definition of a Classic
“A classic—something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.”
Sad to be Considered a Great Author
“I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I am not feeling very well myself.”
Future Heroes in Cradles Today
“Among the three or four million cradles now rocking in the land are some which this nation would preserve for ages as sacred things, if we could know which ones they are.”
Soap and Education Can Be Deadly
“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.”
Fiction is Obliged to Stick to Possibilities
“Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.”
Courage is Resistance to Fear
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.”
Keeping Your Mouth Closed
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
Suppose You Were an Idiot
“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
On the Side of the Majority
“Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.”
Swearing and the Spirit of Wrath
“The spirit of wrath—not the words—is the sin; and the spirit of wrath is cursing. We begin to swear before we can talk.”
Acknowledge a Fault
“Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.”
Profanity and Prayer
“Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”
School Boards and Idiots
“In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.”
Telling the Strict Truth
“Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.”
Doing Your Duty Without Pain
“Make it a point to do something every day that you don’t want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”
On Speculation
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.”
