“I thoroughly disapprove of duels. I consider them unwise, and I know they are dangerous. Also, sinful. If a man should challenge me now, I would go to that man and take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet retired spot, and kill him.”
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French Idiots
“In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.”
A Prodigious Quantity of Mind
“I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.”
Definition of a Classic
“A classic—something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.”
Sad to be Considered a Great Author
“I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I am not feeling very well myself.”
